I have been working on a new training titled, The 360 Communicator. The goal is to help you communicate with anyone, anywhere, every time. I know that is a bold statement, but I believe it is possible with the proper training and sufficient effort. It takes effort to communicate with all of the various types of people that we all run into on a regular basis.
I do not have at my command the time to go into all of the details of how you can become a 360 Communicator, but I do want to give you the three filters with which you need to be aware of if you desire to communicate effectively.
You can watch me explain these 3 communication filters in this 10 minute video or you can continue reading below.
These filters are “title” filters. What I mean by title is that we all basically relate to three different types of titles. Those titles are leaders, team members, and peers. Everyone you come in contact with is going to be someone that leads you, someone you lead or someone you neither lead or follow and they would be a peer. If you are unclear on if you lead someone or if they are a peer, I would default to the assumption that they are a peer and interact with them that way first. Now, I talk about behavior styles in my trainings and in future writings or trainings I will share those with you, but for today this is more than enough to up level your communication.
One last thought, title is a weird word, because you could be leading people that have the same title as you, but you have influence in their life for one reason or another. Don’t think of the word title as a strict organizational chart, but understand that everyone you communicate with falls into one of these three boxes.
What do I mean by filter?
What I am saying is that all of your communication should be run through the purifying word concept associated with it. Let me say it this way. If you have a home water purifier you basically start with water and you end up with water, right? Yes and no. Yes, it was water when it went in and it is water when it comes out, but some things have been removed. Nothing major, we are not cleaning raw sewage here, we are taking drinkable water and removing that which is undesirable. The same is true with the filter words I share with you below. You cannot take ugly, unkind words(sewage) and “filter” them through the word I give you and say that you did what I instructed. The communication that you begin with must be thoughtful and intelligent and basically okay and the filters that I give you will increase your likelihood that the words you say are received properly.
So what are the three filters?
Leader Filter: HONOR
The leader filter is a filter of honor. Every leader, in every era, of every gender wants to be honored by the people they lead. Now, some people get really weird with this and demand crazy tests of honor and those people are insecure leaders, but that is another lesson. That being said, if you want to communicate for greater influence and impact then honor is going to really help you. Great leaders want to be spoken to with honor as well. What do I mean by honor? I mean give them credit for being the leader. That can flesh it’s self out in a lot of different ways, but simply put, give them some credit.
Team Member Filter: VALUE
Every single one of us wants to feel like what we do matters. We want to believe that our thoughts and opinions have value and are worth being heard. We want to believe that our little piece plays into the overarching goal. We want to feel valued. This is never truer than in the leader/follower or leader/team member relationship. I like using the term team member if we work together because ultimately, we are working together to accomplish a vision or a goal. Using the term team member reinforces the value of those on your team. If you fail to express to your team members that you value their contributions, then they will go looking for it elsewhere…which means you will constantly be replacing good people that just want to be appreciated from time to time.
Peer Filter: RESPECT
Do you have any self-respect? Hello, if they are your peer then by definition, they are your equal. You may think they suck and you are great, but at the end of the day, they are your peer. You can be mad about it and think that you can treat them disrespectfully, but that behavior says a lot more about you then it does them. Your peers do not need you to honor them, that would feel really weird. They want to be looked at eye to eye. Recognize that for one reason or another they are in the same boat as you and they know it and you know it. If you respect yourself than respect them…if you don’t respect yourself than you probably are not taking the time to read this article.
In closing I have three questions for you.
How can you filter your communication through honor with those who lead you?
How can you filter your communication through value with those whom you lead?
How can you filter your communication through respect with your peers?